Measure of Jealousy Between Men and Women

Between men and women who is more jealous? That is being jealous over the others’ supposed conduct when they share a relationship. This jealousy is neither envy nor competition. Jealousy is that act of insecurity manifested in probing too frequently what a spouse did, where a spouse had been or rather accusing of cheating or insinuating such.

If we do not care about something we would not bother about its presence or absence. Therefore, jealousy as an expression manifests in probes indicating we care. We are in love or we have something to lose if our fears are confirmed.

Can there be healthy jealousy, therefore? The word jealousy has a negative element with the negative suspicion associated with it. 

“Who was that man that was standing with you at the market?”
“Did you pass by Allen Avenue yesterday (around where James lives?)”
“Who were you with you in your car by 3:00 pm this afternoon?”
“Where do you always go to at 9:00 pm? You are beginning to change.”

These types of questioning indicate the quest for real answers to quell a doubt, confirm logic, confront a threat or access a reality.

It is noticed that women have fewer reasons to be jealous while men have much more reasons. It is not the number of reasons demanded that determine the level of violence or inappropriate actions that take place in the face of these threats.

Both men and women have been irrationally violent. Not necessarily because the male is stronger would his reaction be more harmful, women too have maimed in order to avenge cheating.

Is jealousy a product of a lack of trust and as such a judgment or a healthy stimulus borne out of genuine love?

Why should a woman be jealous? Only three reasons are found. The fear of losing the status quo of the type of man she presently knows, to the unknown that could emerge later if she lost the present. Another is a habit she developed for self-reassurance of being continuously married. Finally, the third reason is borne from the concept that every man is a womanizer.

For the male, the reasons for being jealous are seven.

First, is borne out of men’s inadequacy or insecurity. The fear that a rich man could lure her away with gifts and cash when he does not have or cannot compete for her irrespective of if the woman has no immediate class due to her local background. Another is the fear that the woman could be easily influenced by her new friends and in this new civilization, she would discover his worthlessness. A third is a knowledge that the woman is of a higher class than himself and that could she just realize this and pull out of the relationship.

A fourth is that he sees the woman as a prize won and thus has the prestige to protect. He is having such a beauty queen and is the envy of society; hence if she goes, he could lose face and respect. The fifth is that men generally fear women as unpredictable. She could spring a surprise if not closely watched.

The sixth is that the woman is perceived as a weaker being, and as such, easily manipulatable by predatory males. This makes the male insecure about her every move. The seventh point is that the man views the woman in the reflection of his own conscience as a womanizer. He is flirtatious hence he also suspects her unjustly.