This is an array of clumsy thoughts over diverse issues; a fresh way of perceiving various events or activities in plain humour or in colourful visions conjuring new insights.
1. For the beauty of noise, the cacophony of errant birds’ sermons that are out of tune could be called music, but however discordant such would have a soothing effect on the nerves of the noisemakers.
2. The best part of something doesn’t mean it is good.
3. The length of a road is defined by the urgency and need for the walk. A very long road could be very short.
4. The oldest man is not necessarily the wisest or most greyed.
5. The hunger for want is a trait of inherent primitivism.
6. Staying long in the toilet is a great pleasure to some as it guarantees temporal freedom.
7. The woman that gets a salary from men for just being a woman is a raw artwork of nature that is not yet refined.
8. A pain not felt, is a gift from death.
9. A bitter taste sometimes gives a sweet experience.
10. Music is a type of cooking using different instruments as ingredients.
11. Cheating is a type of business. It overshadows the main product of exchange.
12. Part of a man’s personality can be seen in the way he dances.
13. A man who delights in saying “I’m sorry” regularly for regular vitriol is either a wicked man or a vocal complainant.
14. No man is ever buried complete in one place due to the cut hairs and nails earlier dispatched all over the world.
15. Most times a girl child is the rejected cornerstone that later builds the palace.
16. Man’s intelligence mimics nature to prove its inferiority rather than its originality.
17. If only living things can move, then the cloud, the wind, the sea, as well as fire, are living things.
18. All animals’ tails are useful, they cover their anus.
19. The elephant tusk is not useful to the elephant yet it carries it about.
20. The quality of the weapon used to kill a man will not uplift his status. Neither will the quality of the casket.
21. Words have strength. They can pull you up or take you down.
22. Tradition could sometime mean ideas of crazy uneducated foolish people of the past.
23. The rat at home is not necessarily more comfortable than the bush rat without shelter.
24. The gun that killed a man was actually made to kill something. The dead was killed twice, by a murderer and by the gun; intent and design.
25. Nature is the best provider of employment, pick anything in the bush, sea or sky, and then sell it at any price you like.
26. Feminists should take note that in the tradition of the world every person must have two names the last of which must be male; even the word ‘female’ ends in male.
27. A new world exists inside the mirror where your right-hand turns to be your left hand.
28. The man who keeps food outside for wild birds is a species of nature.
29. The size of the pain of labour cannot be measured from the quality of tears of the mother or the pitch of her screams.
30. Not all brave men dare death. Some do nothing and death ignores them.
31. The length of a man’s tongue is in the size of pain the words from its impact.
32. Everything has quality, even pain in romance.
33. Everything is useful; an abuse could be a piece of useful advice.
34. Stupid things can be done not only by stupid people, but wise people can also be very stupid.
35. Even the thief gets very angry when he sees nothing to steal in the home of the destitute.
36. Age is a blessing to wine but a curse to bread.
37. A very handsome face could be inhabited by a very ugly spirit.
38. The harmless wall-gecko that lives within your house and eats only insects is a member of your family.
39. Your neighbours will not answer your prayer so need to shout it to them.
40. Life is a prison. The offence and length of sentence are known only to the jailer. You only escape through death but the dead go to yet another prison in a prison box through a tunnel.
41. The man who tells stories is also entertaining himself.
42. An earthquake is when the earth goes to the toilet and forces its entrails through forced openings.
43. There is less sin in any house where “thank you” is regularly said.
44. A husband and his wife are not one. They are two people living in one house.
45. Who is fooling who? A man pursues a hen and it runs away. Later a dog pursues the hen and it runs under the man’s legs.
46. The man who saw himself as a King in his dream should be very happy. As in life, even in dreams, royalty is very rare.
47. Age is a rank we mostly hide from the public but ridiculously expect it to give us public respect.
48. A man’s real portrait is the total portrait of all the parasites that are living on his face.
49. Most times the size of a man’s stool indicates the size of his greed.
50. CRAZY MATHEMATICS: (a) Who is older? a 70-year-old man who died 2 months ago and is yet to be buried or a 25-year-old lady who died 6 months ago also yet to be buried?
In the present dispensation, they are new in their new environment and the 25-year-old is older than the 70-year-old.
(b) Now if the 70-year-old was buried after 2 months of death and the 25-year-old buried after 6 months of death and being the same day of burial, then none is older than the other if the 6-month-old death had been properly embalmed. Their uniform age is determined by the uniform rate of decomposition of both corpses from the time of burial.
(c) Now because of the age of the bones of the 70-year-old to the 25-year-old, it could still be correct to say that the 70-year-old will always be older than the 25-year-old.
