HUMOUR
SAVED BY A QUOTATION

Rufus had a loving and romantic mistress unknown to his wife. He saw her regularly and they shared a good time. At the approach of his birthday, his mistress invited him specially. He managed to sneak out on that day without arousing the suspicions of his wife.

His mistress gave him a wrapped present as a token of her love. Rufus immediately sensed trouble. Of course, he took the gift and imagining it to be a set of drinking glasses; he took it home promising to tell his wife that a male friend gave it to him. His wife was at home when he arrived with the present.

“Happy birthday” She greeted him for the umpteenth time.
“Someone gave you a present?”
“Oh yes let us open it” He said confidently.
To the dining table they went and carefully, he opened the gift. It surprisingly turned out to be an expensive wall clock.
“Who gave you this clock?” the alarmed wife demanded. He swallowed hard as he knew that no male friend would have given him such a present for a birthday. Such would have been appropriate for a wedding present. He was not used to lying but thinking what his best answer would be. He swallowed hard and quickly replied:

“My friend’s sister gave me” He said regretting ever bringing home the gift.
“Which of your friends?”
“The one residing at Diobu.”
“He has no name?”
“Patrick.”
“Who is Patrick? Is there any of your friends that I do not know?"
“I have told you who gave me the present.”

The wife knew something was wrong. She knew all his friends, even this Patrick. But he was not a close friend. Then how could his sister buy her husband a gift? An unlikely story she thought.

“What is your relationship with his sister?”
“I had sometimes accused women as grabbers. They take and take but never give. I believe she was trying to prove me wrong.”
“Is she your girlfriend?”
“No”
“Why does she have to prove anything to you?”
“I don’t know!”
The wife started crying. Her husband had gone too far. He is not even afraid to bring a girlfriend’s tell-tale to his matrimonial home. Feeling guilty, he tried to cover up by scolding his wife.
“Why are you making a big show out of nothing? Am I not entitled to a present on my birthday even from a ghost that cares?"

Then suddenly he was inspired. He remembered that portion in the scripture where Christ was accused of healing on a Sabbath day and in answer to his accusers he asked:

“Which is easier, to say get up and walk or your sins are forgiven?” Of course, the latter was easier as it was just a speech while the other was a tasking effort. He then asked his wife:
“Which is easier, to say the gift was given to me by a man for you to believe quickly or to say as I said, that it was given to me by a woman. Does that make me stupid for telling the truth?” the impact of the message was shocking. The wife got the message and after a while she replied:

"I like it that you told me the truth. I prefer the truth no matter the impropriety of the action; please don’t be angry.”
“Okay” he replied trying not to show his mischievous smile.
“So where do we hang the clock?” She asked.
“You decide” he said trying to be a loving husband.
“Should we hang it in our bedroom?” The innocent wife suggested.
“Okay, let me get a nail” he mockingly said.
“Promise me you will not see her again” the wife finally requested.
“I’ve not been seeing her. I will not go there…”

Although he never ended the sentence with ‘again’, she believed him.
And so the war ended through diplomacy; in quietude and tranquil peace.



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