Like every grand gathering, the occasion was the annual conference of assorted words. It was a meeting to deliberate on the status of a particular word that was there ‘In the beginning'. Like a fashion parade of experts, every important word was there; flashy words, dull words, even general words sent representatives. It is a world of many words wielding their sharpness in relevance like swatting swords.
They were words of status, erudite words, patient words, quiet words and emotional words. Even rude words, well-polished and polite ones mingled with other unethical and veiled words. WELCOME was the first word that entered the arena. The master of ceremony was an action word. He was a verb. Words came in their best attires in variegated sounds and sizes―in various colours, tongues and weights, displaying colourful imageries. Some words were so heavy that they needed adjective support else they lose their bearing. There were words which were too scantily dressed, making one to think that they are incomplete words. Words like FY and OAF needed referees to guarantee them admission.
Like Pressmen, Ears, Brains and Dictionaries were allowed to capture stray word in the hall. EUREKA, the Greek was seen at the gate having a brief word with EL DORADO the Spaniard. IMBROGLIO and his girlfriend DILLY-DALLY were seen holding hands and dancing. Some words were costumed in resplendent sounds as colours just like CACOPHONY. Others like SOZZLED rattled the tongues. The creams of the best words were represented. In their fashion and dazzle, an off-colour word like ESCHSCHOLTZIA only encouraged laughter because it was supposed to be a naturalized English word. Sweet words were served as dessert.
Thereafter, there was a presentation of a fine word which turned out to be an appropriate word of thanks.
A big party it was, every word was there, foreign and local, Italian, Persian, Turkish, Hindi, Yiddish, Japanese, and Sioux, even Dutch words. ZYGOTIC was there, OXYMORON and OKAPI were also there; all in borrowed attires.
“Hello! Udo, you look familiar! Are you from Nigeria?”
“Oh, No, I came from Japan.” The similar attire of some words encouraged such mistaken identity comments.
All words were equal for voting considerations irrespective of their length or their multiple meanings. There was a strange word which nobody identified as either a local or a foreign word. It might have been a coined word, maybe a code word. It was WYNN. Although it was an odd word, it was a single word. Not hyphenated like a compound word.
THOU, was welcomed more as a Biblical word than an ancient word. Initially, only singular words were allowed into the Hall because some plural words had the disadvantage of changed identities. There were protests at this stage. Among those sent away was ‘Mr’, an abbreviated word, he could not gain a full word status. POW, an acronym, was denied admission also.
Some words were not allowed in because most of them were actually sentences. There were raised questions about “when is a word not a word?” SINE QUA NON who was in a tight three-piece suit felt threatened at this stage.
At the first row, there was a funny word sitting next to a fine word. Suddenly, a new word entered the hall and turned out to be the destabilizing word of the party. He was although a key-word, but he had no pass-word. He was indeed an archaic word which was not a complicated word, but an obsolete word. He was just a pet word, a casual word best described as a colloquial word.
Also in attendance was another new word. It was a very modern word not yet enjoying the familiarity of a major word sitting by its side. It turned out later to be an accepted word.
People came to the party with their words; I saw his word, her word, our word and even your word. A missing word was seen searching for another familiar word. In his opening remarks, JARGON, the chairman spoke in preferred words thus;
“Proverbs are the horses on which words ride
When words get lost, proverbs search for them”
“I prefer the familiar word to the far-fetched
The concrete word to the abstract
The single word to the circumlocution;
The short word to the long.”
After discovering an omitted word in his address, the chairman concluded his speech by saying, “I give you my word” and everyone felt the given word was a bold word and the correct word. Although an awaited word― like an apology, it was a confidential word. It was a favourite word which was also a colourful word, yet it was not a big word like OSCULATE which simply is to kiss. The spoken word was in disguise because it was an f-word like a curse word. Yes, it was an obscene word and a dirty word. Because it was spoken as an angry word, it was received as a really sick word. For a chairman, it was a silly word to be voiced. It was such an embarrassing word and an insulting word to the senses. It couldn’t be said to be a polite word, it was a misplaced word and a rude word. They all agreed that it was not a befitting word or a fashionable word for the occasion. The erotic word immediately became a banned word although it was not actually a bad word.
ZIMBI, the African, later presented a paper entitled “the art of making a wrong word to be a right word.” Like releasing the power of a powerful word as the clout of a magical word, everybody hailed the speech.
A good word came late and met some literary words which like other peculiar words and professional words stood in the company of some native words. All were well-dressed words. These words were different. You only find them in professional dictionaries. Among them was AURORA, a scientific word.
Despite the security, an unknown word was discovered to have illegally gained admission into the hall. It was eventually chased out and a watch-word was instantly issued. The offending word was a loose word, but the exact word could not be readily remembered. Although an old word, it proved to be an active word capable of causing the stir it did. I remember now, the hot word was FIRE; An inflammable word and a thought-provoking word. After the incident, other strange words like DISEASE were chased out and they became passive words.
Under matters arising, a misused word, that had been active in the game of clichés that was being played outside the hall, was introduced by an usher. And because she was now a common word and a weak word, she was asked to rest at the corner.
The meeting finally deliberated on the status of ‘the word’ which was “in the beginning.” It was generally agreed that “In the beginning, ‘THE WORD’ which was a sacred word, was not a single word but a name; a name that made all the other words: JESUS.”
Before the meeting was adjourned, words were given out as souvenirs. I saw the Chairman give out a sympathetic word for an encouraging word. Other kind words also exchanged hands. Words were seen autographing vocabularies.
When the parting word, ‘GOODNIGHT’ was given, it turned out to be a well-chosen word which was also the last word that ended the successful party.