Mothering is a branch of parenting just like fathering, while parenting is actually what is being referred to in both cases. Mothering is focused on roles a mother continues to play long after their kids are adults. If mothering is a condition of care then it should have no time limit. But “mothering” has a negative sense in meaning― as it stigmatizes the adult son as immature and the mother as ungodly, dictatorial, self-righteous, a home breaker, a hater of her gender type (son’s wife) and much more. This is the in-law syndrome. Mothering is usually applied to a mother and son relationship.
While fathering refers to the continuity of giving rules to rule the son’s life, mothering is showing care or love which looks like pampering such a child. When such reference of still being 'mothered' is applied to an adult, it turns the stares of society in the line of measurement. Then such pampering becomes overbearing to a point of demeaning a man’s will as a champion to manage his own stock of dependants. While being close to one’s children is good in order to feel their pulse to advice or encourage them, too often at these achieves the negative.
The problem is most times not from the mothers but from sons who do not feel grown-up or who feel their mother is a god. Some feel that their mother is their reference point on matters of women while some feel that allowing their mother’s voice into their homes is the best way to show them love or to reciprocate love.
Unlike fathering where the time to marshal laws to sons stop when the son leaves home – although, caring like a welfare status still continues. For mothering, parenting is nonstop caring. This too must continue, but with a consciousness that it is only motherly for the good of a ‘happy home’ in your son’s home.
Mothering should reduce when the son gets married as a sign of greater love rather than as a duty of unending infant-care love. Here, the maturity of a mother is in question as well as her quality of love. Instead of the quality improving, it declines when she sees herself as the perfect mother, or a marriage counsellor, or a consultant.
The love most needed in mothering is the gift of freedom. Freedom is the greatest asset we have and anyone who interferes with it in the guise of love would be embarrassing their ‘loved son’ in the eyes of society.
Since we do not live alone, society’s view is equally important in our show of love and time to stop mothering.