While there are colour classifications and psychological analyses of lies, delving into this discourse with such a premise will be rather too academic for our entertainment. So without being colour blinded by such theories that may spin the head, we decided to stick with some truths about some nice little lies.
As children growing up, we were taught never to say a lie because it can get us in trouble. Lies can be complex, once it starts, the liar has to think about a follow-up that connects. It’s like walking through a maze without a map or guide. One thing is certain when it comes to lies, a good liar is mentally alert.
They say, ‘a lie is a lie’ but I think that’s not accurate because lies can be classified. I have heard a grievous lie and also, I have heard nice little lies. The former is weighty and portends a worst-case scenario while the latter carries no form of threat. Instead, it can give hope even in cases where there is none.
Honesty is the best policy. But honestly, we can’t always tell the truth. At best, we could learn to prevaricate.
This is by no means putting up a case for compulsive liars who are ingrained to be pathological liars but laying emphasis on why it is important to know when to give full disclosure of the truth or hoard information in vital life-threatening circumstances.
Saying the truth or otherwise should be backed up with good reasoning and intent. And as long as a lie serves a good course, it can be easily forgiven.
However, lying should be the last point of call after exhausting the option of being economical with the truth. Words are not always supposed to be spoken with clarity.
The wisest of men have used proverbs, parables, idiomatic expressions, euphemisms and other blanket statements to deviate from saying the truth as it is. Putting things in black and white is not a colourful approach to dealing with every issue in life.
Lies can be said to be ill-informed truths purported for mostly a selfish course but when a lie can be considered selfless, it serves as a placebo for whoever needs it.
I heard a doctor tell a ‘lie’ to his patient who has been having a series of miscarriages for years before conceiving. Sadly, she lost the baby prematurely. There were some complications before the scheduled delivery month which prompted an emergency visit to the hospital. But it was a little too late for her child in wait. The doctors could only revive her.
When she regained consciousness, her baby was the first thing on her mind. She demanded to see her baby but the doctor told her a professional lie. He said the baby was in an incubator— hale and hearty. She relaxed and the doctors continued nursing her while replaying the lies to keep her alive.
The above instance shows how deadly a truth can be. In keeping with the Hippocratic Oaths, medical practitioners should live by, a professional ‘lie’ that saves a life is in line with the ethics of the profession.
The right dose of scarred truths is masterly administered with the help of discretion. And discretion is assumed to be used to the best of one’s ability. Meaning that ‘lies’ are an added skill that is not often talked about. Some prestigious institutions would demand you tell some nice little lies of your own volition— almost like an unwritten code of conduct.
In essence, lies are not all that bad— everything serves a purpose. It only breaks a moral code when it is being framed by those who do not understand the technicalities of dispersing information. It’s one thing to know the truth and it’s another to know how to handle it. By this, communication becomes deliberate knowing that even a ‘lie’ can have a form of sincere intention.
Marriages that last, do so because of how truth is being said. In some cases, a bald-faced lie is told out of respect and admiration for the better half. Kids too are not always told the truth when adults deem it necessary. A fragile mindset needs emotional support for a while… and that can be in form of prevarication.