Unknown to most families, they all have family rules, unwritten rules like the British Constitution. Rules are supposed to guarantee an expected standard for human conduct or a model for environmental outlook acceptance.
There are rules which must be pronounced in the family to guide and bring peace at home. There are also unspoken rules. The silent rules could be those of how to conduct greetings in the morning.
Is it just “good morning,” or “Good morning, Ma.” Is it, good morning Mama” or it is Mummy? When you call kid Agnes, is the answer “Ehn! or “Yes?” or “Yes Mummy”?
There are rules on individual duties for the kids. Who does what and when? When are the kids to wake up on Sunday or on Public holidays and how about holiday rules or rules on housework from school? There are age rules. At what age is Margaret 7, considered too young to light the lantern or the stove? How old must Fredrick 8, be before he can bathe himself properly? Beyond what time in the morning will it be late to leave home for school? One of the silent rules is the preferred storage locations of critical items. Otherwise, you hear complaints like;
“Who removed the toothpaste I kept here?”
“Why is that cup still there?”
“Who brought out the opener?”
It is painful when you are almost late for work and you discover that someone had removed the comb from where you had instructed it to be left.
There are rules of feeding.
“No one will eat dinner after 9:00 pm. If you want to eat, then you have to be home early” such statements are rules.
Some other rules to control the child’s appetite are “Don’t accept or eat food given to you outside this house without my permission.” Some to control begging by children “If you beg money from anyone or a stranger, I will discipline you.” or “If you are given money and you did not show it to me and you spend it, I will punish you.” There are accepted sharing rules which indicate that the most senior must share food and the most junior gets the least.
Some rules are made to avoid anarchy or to protect the younger ones.
“Simon, do not beat Wilson. If he offends you, report him to me”
“Wilson, you must respect your brother if you abuse him I will flog you.”
“No fighting in this house, if you fight there will be no food for you.”
Some homes have rules for going to Church and penalties for not going. Some have rules on when to wear certain dresses or when to eat rice. There are rules on when watching the television is an offence after a certain time.
All these rules are not written but all members of the families practising them know the guiding principles by heart. Who then says different families as different institutions do not have separate constitutions that are reviewed regularly when some of the laws become obsolete, irrelevant or outgrown?
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